Geri Halliwell, Eat Your Heart Out

Though I am not a fan of the Olsen twins sisters, (I don’t actively dislike them… I’m just not a fan), I must say that I have a huge respect for their manager. This man, Robert Thorne, managed to take two infant girls with no particular talent to speak of, other than being reasonably cute, and turned them into billionaires before their 18th birthday.

They have movies, CDs, clothing lines, cosmetics, you name it, all tied into a billion-dollar company (of which they now have control since they recently turned 18). This is the greatest feat of no-particular-talent star-making since Ed McMahon first stepped on to the Tonight Show stage, or <insert Mr. T joke here>. Actually, it’s bigger, as I think the girls are worth a lot more $$$ than the other two combined.

Even if they are not able to sustain their success into adulthood — as they are becoming too old to be “cute” for the kids, not hottie enough to become models, and by their own account, not great actors — they are more than set for life. Nonetheless, I imagine that he will find a way to keep the Ashley/Mary Kate star vehicle rolling. The man has somehow turned 15 minutes into 18 years — I have no reason to start doubting him now.

I am also impressed that he (and their parents) managed to keep the sisters fairly down-to-earth. How many famous people can you think of whose egos far outweigh their talents? Now look at these relatively normal personalities coming from two girls who literally do not know what it’s like to not be a household name?. Remember the Spice Girls? They had a similar manager who made them the number one grossing performers in the world; but after a while their egos got too big for their own good and they fired him, immediately after which a giant fissure opened up in the earth and swallowed them whole.

Dear Mr. Thorne: I am a singer working professionally, (and a trained actor, though I have not worked in that business). Would you be interested in acquiring some new talent?

Comments are invited and encouraged

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