The World According to Jimmy

Former President “Jhimmi” Carter tells us why he’s a Democrat:

[A 16-year old girl] asked me about the differences between Democrats and Republicans.

I asked her, “Are you for peace, or do you want more war?” Then I asked her, “Do you favor government helping the rich, or should it seek to help the poorest members of society? Do you want to preserve the environment, or do you want to destroy it? Do you believe this nation should engage in torture, or should we condemn it? Do you think each child today should start life responsible for $28,000 in [federal government] debt, or do you think we should be fiscally responsible?”

I told her that if she answered all of those questions, that she believed in peace, aiding the poor and weak, saving the environment, opposing torture … then I told her, “You should be a Democrat.”

So… let’s recap, shall we?

Jimmy Carter’s Political Party Comparison Chart
Democrats… Republicans…
…are “for peace” …”want more war”
…think government should “seek to help the poorest members of society” …”favor government helping the rich”
…”want to preserve the environment” …”want to destroy [the environment]”
…”condemn [torture]” …”believe this nation should engage in torture”
…”think we should be fiscally responsible” …”think each child today should start life responsible for $28,000 in [government] debt”

Hey Jimmy — you forgot “Republicans want to throw old people out into the street,” and my personal favorite: “Republicans want to starve schoolchildren.”

Let’s let Jimmy’s list simmer for a while. I’ll have comments later.

Update: modified the table to better reflect Carter’s actual wording

Comments are invited and encouraged

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